(As in, actually interested, not just trying to fill a void of having someone to text.) This means learning more about where they're from and what makes them.well, them. “When engaging with someone for the first time, it’s important to signal you're interested in them," Carbino says. “You’re also binge-watching ? We need to debrief last night’s episode.”.Keep it light and friendly, and use it as an opportunity to start forming a connection: “No one wants to approach a person with cynicism or a smug attitude.” “There are a lot of people on dating apps who in the convo or in their bio have something negative to say,” Hoggard Wagley says. Save that for a boozy Saturday brunch with your pals, or your next therapy session. “What bar is that in your first pic? It looks so fun.”Īnd, hey, I love to vent as much as the next person, but your dating app is not the place for it.“I’m also obsessed with Omakase! What’s your fave spot in town?”.“OMG, I need to hear about your trip to…”.Instead, give them an easy reason to respond by saying something like: “Hey, what’s up” is not the most enticing prompt. “If you see a vacation photo or a picture with friends, ask about the best part of that trip or ask them to describe their group of friends,” she says, adding that you should “never ask questions that can be answered in less than one sentence.” Hoggard Wagley suggests asking open-ended questions about a photo or listed interest on their profile-something that will get the conversation flowing and build that bud of a connection before the first date. Remember the longer conversation happens on dates-this is your chance to say hello and establish interest.” “Be concise and intentional,” Hoggard Wagley recommends. Keep your Tinder opening message short, sweet, and to the point. Get your typing fingers ready because here are the best ways to start (and continue) a convo on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Farmers Only, you name it. Needless to say, your first few messages matter. Jess Carbino, PhD, is a sociologist who has worked for Tinder and Bumble.Ĭat Hoggard Wagley, LMHCA, is a relationship therapist based in Indiana. “Maybe they’ve been burned or ghosted, but whatever their reason, you do have a limited amount of time to catch their interest.” “Realistically, people are most judgmental about first impressions,” says Cat Hoggard Wagley, LMHCA, a relationship therapist based in Indiana. That's because humans have a natural desire to "thin slice"-as in, digest small amounts of information (like, what's in your bio) to determine bigger decisions (read: whether this person is worth a date.or more). Of course, first impressions are critical in any context, but especially when there's a potential relationship on the line, says Jess Carbino, PhD, a former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble. Unanswered messages-whether it's a text convo with your crush, a group chat that none of your friends responds to, or a hopeful conversation starter on Tinder-are just one more way living in this digital age can make you feel all-caps crappy.īut unlike those first two examples, when it comes to dating app conversation starters, there's some artistry involved in crafting the optimal opener. Who here likes to be left on read? Anyone? Nope, didn't think so.
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